


Sunggyu's Sketchboook

by feminabeata



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Christmas is squeezed in, Drawing Class, M/M, New hobbies in exchange for old habits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-07 19:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8813722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feminabeata/pseuds/feminabeata
Summary: Sunggyu knew that he had a problem. He just needed to sketch out a solution.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gogyuma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gogyuma/gifts).



> Merry Christmas, Gogyuma! I hope that you enjoy the story!

Sunggyu knew that he had a problem. What it was exactly, he didn’t know that. He just knew that something in his life was wrong. Things weren’t like they used to be. His life was moving sluggishly, and everyone else was hurrying past in him in the race of life. The funny thing was he knew he’d feel this way eventually, but he thought it would be when his friends were getting married and having children. Of course, he was at the age when his friends were making families of their own, but not all, not the ones that he saw everyday. Those guys were still tragically single like himself and devoted to their work. So why did he feel like this? What was responsible for it?

“I don’t know,” Sunggyu muttered below his breath. He hated admitting it. He should know. He should know himself better than anyone, but he couldn’t tell her why he felt this way.

“What do you do in your free-time, Sunggyu-ssi?” the psychologist asked. Sunggyu sighed and rest his cheek in his hand. His company offered all of the employees in his department free consultations after one of his coworkers threatened to jump from the roof of their building. It had been a particularly stressful quarter for them, and she just cracked. Now the last thing the company wanted was to gain a reputation for driving their employees suicidal, and of course they cared for their employees’ health too. That was why they offered these consultations. Not everyone accepted the offer, but Sunggyu did. He was the one who found the woman standing on the ledge, and for a split second, he thought about joining her.

He didn’t though. Instead he called for help, and they were able to talk her down. But the fact that he thought that thought at all terrified him thoroughly. He hadn’t been able to shake off that feeling, and now he wasn’t moving through life at a sluggish pace. He wasn’t moving at all. He’d stopped. He had to stop and figure this all out before he could start moving again.

“Sunggyu-ssi?”

“Oh yes,” Sunggyu said as he snapped out of his daze.

“What do you do in your spare time?” the psychologist repeated the question, acting like it was the first time she’d asked.

“Oh well,” Sunggyu started and cocked his head. _What do I do?_ Only one thing came to mind: “I drink.”

The psychologist made a note of that. “Okay, what else?” she asked.

“What else?” Sunggyu repeated as he thought it over. “Sometimes I go out for a walk,” he suddenly remembered. “I go to Itaewon mostly.”

She perked up. “Itaewon?” She made it sound like it was an odd choice, and she was making another note. _Is that weird?_ he thought as he watched her write.

“Yes, but I don’t stay there for long,” Sunggyu defended himself. “I walk around for about 10 or 15 minutes and then go back home.”

“Do you feel better afterwards?” she suddenly asked.

Sunggyu was taken aback by the question, but still answered honestly: “No, I don’t.” The answer surprised him almost as much as the question did. He hadn’t realized it before, but every time he came back from those walks, he came back with a heavier heart and a slower step, feeling lonelier than before.

“It’s a common thing, Sunggyu-ssi,” the psychologist reassured him with a warm smile. “People going to crowded places in order to not feel alone, but…” she paused to place her notebook aside and to focus her attention on him fully, “…it would be better for you to meet with people you can talk with during those times. People with whom you can be frank. Do you have someone like that?”

“My family,” Sunggyu quickly replied. “But now that I live apart from them I see them, um, maybe once a year.”

“Any one else? Perhaps someone nearby?” she pursued.

Sunggyu averted his eyes, looking out the window as if the person he needed was out there. “I don’t know,” he mumbled.

“Well then, I suggest that you start by talking to people who are close to you, whom you see as supportive, and whose opinion you already value. Increase the amount of people that you can communicate with,” she advised him, and Sunggyu nodded along, still not matching her eyes. The psychologist must’ve noticed Sunggyu’s reluctance and also suggested, “Also find a hobby.”

He liked the sound of that better. He looked up. “A hobby? Like what?” he asked.

“Something active, like sports, more specifically a team sport,” she proposed.

Sunggyu clicked his tongue. _That seems exhausting. I don’t like to sweat_. “Can’t I just stay at home and watch movies?” he was half-joking, half-serious.

“No,” she answered bluntly but was amused. “The point of finding a hobby is so that you could reach a sense of fulfillment and have an outlet for your daily stresses. Staying at home and watching movies will only make you stew in these feelings.” Sunggyu bowed his head and watched his thumbs twiddle with each other on this lap. He felt like he was being lectured for not taking this conversation seriously, but he was. He just didn’t think that sports were the answer. “Sunggyu-ssi,” the psychologist called to him, trying to coax him to raise his head. “I’m not asking you to drastically change your lifestyle. Just pick up an activity,” she worded it as gently and unoffending as she could.

Sunggyu plastered a smile on his face, stiff but still friendly. “Besides sports, what else do you suggest?”

* * *

The psychologist gave him a list of activities that she thought would suit his personality, which ranged from rock climbing to magic. In that varied list, one activity caught his attention: drawing. That seemed doable, unintimidating. All he needed was a pencil, a piece of paper, and a creative mind. And he already had all three of those things! Also, what had seriously convinced Sunggyu to take up this activity was the fact that the local community center offered drawing classes. He’d always seen the flyers for it as he passed by the building. And so, that night on his way home from work, he entered the community center and enrolled in the class. Afterwards, he went to an art store to pick up supplies for the class: pencils, erasers, charcoal, and a large sketchbook. While he was in line, waiting to check out, Sunggyu impulsively put one more thing into his basket: a black leather book. He needed a smaller sketchbook anyway for “daily practice,” and anything could’ve done the trick. But his eyes kept going back to the black leather book while he was waiting in line. It was so simple, yet the more Sunggyu looked at it, the more he liked it. And then he had looked at it enough that he had to have it, so he bought it.

Sunggyu returned home that night, feeling accomplished. He chuckled softly to himself as he fell onto his bed. All he had done was buy a few things, and his mood was already improving. If he knew he’d feel this good, he would’ve gotten a hobby a long time ago.

 _Don’t get ahead of yourself_ , Sunggyu thought as he placed the black book on his nightstand. _You haven’t even started yet._ But he would tomorrow. Tomorrow night was his first drawing class, and Sunggyu fell asleep with jitters, like a schoolboy the night before his first day of school.

 _I wonder if I’ll make any friends_ …

* * *

The next day, Sunggyu had meeting that ran longer than scheduled. A two of his coworkers had gotten into a petty argument about the format of a powerpoint presentation, and the rest of them were held hostage by them until the two worked it out. It was all very fruitless, and the meeting could’ve (and should’ve) been half the length it was. _Daily stresses_ , Sunggyu thought to himself as he briskly walked through the hallway and up to the classroom. _This is why I need to do this. I need an outlet. Yes, I can do this. I need to. I have to_ , he encouraged himself as he reached for the doorknob. His jitters from last night came back with a vengeance. He took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. _It’s now or never_. He opened the door.

“Am…am I in the right room?”

The classroom was filled with women, around his mother’s age or slightly younger, whose children had probably all grown and flown the nest and now were left with free time that they hadn’t had before. They were sitting behind slanted desks, eagerly awaiting the teacher.

“Are you teaching the class?” one of them had asked. “Introduction to drawing?”

“Ah no,” Sunggyu stammered. Many of the women appeared disappointed by the news, which made him actually feel a bit more welcomed to the group and a lot less like an outsider. He grinned. “Actually I’m taking it too. Hello, classmates! I’m Kim Sunggyu. Pleased to meet you,” he joked around with them. The women laughed at his little introduction and were flattered to be called his ‘classmates.’

“Sunggyu-yah,” one of his ‘classmates’ (and by the looks of it, his oldest classmate) called out to him warmly. “Come and sit by me. This seat is free,” she said as she patted the stool next to hers.

“Of course!” Sunggyu walked over, took the seat next to her, and put his things down. It was as he was organizing his supplies when he noticed something peculiar out of the corner of his eye. It was another man! And he was seated at the next desk over and was glancing sideways at Sunggyu, looking like he wanted to talk but was too shy to start a conversation. Sunggyu wondered how he hadn’t noticed the man earlier. The man had just blended into the room. He was no more vibrant than the room’s beige walls.

“Hello,” Sunggyu greeted him with a short bow.

“Did your wife drag you here too?” the man asked, nodding over to the elderly woman next to Sunggyu.

“No, no, no,” Sunggyu adamantly denied, waving his hands. “I just met her.”

The man smirked. “I was just messing with you,” he confessed. Sunggyu relaxed in his seat. This old man was cheekier than he seemed. _He like Dad_ , Sunggyu thought. “My wife dragged me here. She said we needed to get out of our rut and do something fun for once. I suggested that we stay at home and watch a movie, and she suggested this. Guess who won,” the man joked. Sunggyu laughed. _He’s definitely like Dad._

“I feel you. I’d rather be at home too,” Sunggyu made a confession of his own as he spun a pencil in between his fingers.

“Oh.” The man raised an eyebrow, curious. “Then why are you here?” he inquired.

Sunggyu smiled sheepishly and brought his hands together in his lap. “I was told that I needed a hobby. Apparently, drinking isn’t a hobby,” he tried to make light of his situation.

“Oh, it is a hobby,” the old man argued. Sunggyu cocked his head. The man’s smile widened. “It’s just an unhealthy one.”

Sunggyu sighed, but his smile remained, tight and faint. “So I’ve been told,” he muttered with a knowing nod.

The man extended his hand. “My name is Jin,” he told the other. Sunggyu took his hand and shook it warmly. Jin put his other hand around Sunggyu’s as well. “Thank you for not letting me be the only man in class.”

Sunggyu sniggered. “Anytime, Jin-ssi.”

“Good evening, everyone!” a young woman announced as soon as she entered the room. “Welcome to Introduction to Drawing. Let’s get started!”

* * *

Later that night, after class, Sunggyu was sitting at his kitchen table with his small sketchbook open and incessantly tapping his pencil on the side of the table. His teacher had assigned them homework: draw something familiar, something you see everyday, which was important or dear to them. The idea behind it was that the more they liked the subject, the more careful they would be when they draw it.

Sunggyu glanced over to his fridge. Something inside of there was very familiar to him, and he was itching to pull a bottle out and open it. _No, not today_. Sunggyu shook his head. He had made a promise to himself earlier not to drink tonight. And it was already proving to be more of a challenge than he had expected. Old habits died hard, especially when you don’t have a strong enough will to kill them. _Be strong, Sunggyu. You have to be stronger._

He couldn’t risk moving out of his chair. He knew perfectly well what he’d do if he got up. So he stayed put and pulled out his phone and fiddled with it. “Something you see everyday,” he mumbled to himself as he placed his phone down onto the table.

He just found the perfect thing to draw.

* * *

“What did you do last night? I didn’t hear back from you.”

A smile pulled tightly across Sunggyu’s face. He had been wondering when this guy would show up. He spun away from his desk to see Nam Woohyun casually standing at the threshold of his cubicle, leaning against the wall with one arm hanging over the top of the short wall. Woohyun worked in the same company as Sunggyu, but in a different department (Advertising) and on a different floor. But every so often, Woohyun would drag himself away from work and over to Human Resources, just to talk to Sunggyu. And if Sunggyu, by random happenstance and totally not planned, just so happened to by on the 5th floor, he’d visit Woohyun. It was what they did to break up the monotony.

However, this wasn’t just a visit to alleviate the boredom from a typical workday. Woohyun was checking in on Sunggyu; it was obvious judging by his concerned face. Sunggyu hadn’t responded to Woohyun’s text from the night before. He had been in class when the message came and had forgotten about it when he came home and did his ‘homework.’ To be fair, Woohyun’s text didn’t necessitate an answer. He had just written: **It’s snowing**. Sunggyu then grinned and looked outside to see that it was, in fact, snowing, and that was it. But had it been an average night for Sunggyu, he would’ve responded back, so he felt guilty for ignoring it.

“I was in class,” Sunggyu defended himself. Woohyun raised an eyebrow, curious. “A drawing class,” Sunggyu further explained.

“Why?”

“I was told that I needed a hobby,” he answered and slunk down in his seat.

“Oh, right!” Woohyun exclaimed, clapping his hands together. He then stuffed them into his pocket. “I forgot you had told me about that. So you chose drawing, huh?”

“Yup,” Sunggyu popped his lips as he made the reply.

“You didn’t want to join my soccer team?” Woohyun asked, his smile faltering for just a moment before it picked back up.

Sunggyu laughed. Woohyun’s suggestion for a hobby was even worse than some of the psychologist’s. “No, thank you,” he turned down the offer yet again and was glad to do so. “I already told you. I’d make a fool out of myself. I hadn’t played since grade school. I’m not at your level.”

“Good point. We don’t need you to drag down our team,” Woohyun joked. His shoulders were shaking up and down and he voicelessly chuckled.

“Yah!” Sunggyu spat back, but he was also laughing. He threw a crumpled paper at the other who easily dodged it. “I’m not _that_ bad!’

“I know, I know,” Woohyun yielded raising his hands. He then bent down to pick up the piece of paper, and while he did so, Sunggyu turned back towards his computer and back to the email that he left unfinished. _What was I telling them again? Oh yea! They should—_ his thoughts were knocked out of his head by that crumpled paper ball. Woohyun had quite the arm. Sunggyu rubbed the back of his head, aiming to glare at the other, but his eyes grew wider instead. Woohyun had one of his elbows propped on top of the wall, and he was pinching the bridge of his nose, posing pretentiously. “Hyung, if you need practice, maybe you should draw me sometime. I have experience,” after saying that, he fell out of the pose, giggling sheepishly. “I was a model for a shopping mall once. What do you think? Do you need my help?” he offered.

“Wh-what?” Sunggyu sputtered. He waved his hand in the air. “Pbft! I would never draw you,” he acted as if it was a ridiculous notion. Woohyun must’ve felt ridiculous for suggesting it. His eyes fell to the floor, hands busied with his tie, and lips tucked into his mouth. “I like landscapes,” Sunggyu defended himself, turning back to his computer. The atmosphere was getting tense, awkward.

“O-oh. In that case, I guess you wouldn’t need me,” and the atmosphere only got worse after Woohyun said that. Even more so when Sunggyu didn’t have a response to that comment. “I should go back to work,” Woohyun concluded. “I have lots of it. Busy day today. I just wanted to see what you were up to, and I did. So I should go, yea.” Sunggyu quickly spun around, but Woohyun was nowhere to be seen. _Did he already leave?_

“Namu?” Sunggyu called out quietly.

“Yes?” Woohyun’s head poked into the opening. Sunggyu smirked. The other might’ve left, but he hadn’t gone too far.

“I’ll call you later, okay? For dinner?” Sunggyu offered and quickly added, “With the usual people, of course.”

“Of course,” Woohyun chirped with a nod. He then waved to the other as he pulled his head back out of the entrance. “See you later, hyung.”

“Later!” Sunggyu shouted after him and then subsequently felt self-conscious about how loud it was. He’d gotten carried away again. Sunggyu ruffled his hair. He needed to get carried away with work instead and finish this email. But tonight…tonight he’d go out with his friends. And he could be a bit looser, a bit wilder. But he knew that wasn’t going to happen for one reason.

* * *

A few nights a week, Sunggyu gathered with his work friends, and they went out to dinner. It wasn’t exactly a 'team dinner.' They were all from various departments, but they still ended up talking about company matters, complaining and giving advice. Okay, so it was mostly Sunggyu giving advice, but that was just how he was. He was the sensible and reliable friend. Someone that they all could count on. But who could he count on?

Sunggyu’s eyes drifted over to the right, where Woohyun sat, trying to catch the elder’s gaze, his mouth hanging slightly open. _This again?_ Sunggyu matched the other’s gaze, opening his eyes as wide as he could. Woohyun mimicked him. Slowly the two of them opened their mouths wider and wider and then quickly snapped it closed. _Like an alligator._ Wasn’t that how it all started? One of them (Sunggyu couldn’t remember which) did an alligator impression and the other mocked him for it… _Or was it a hippopotamus?_ It didn’t what animal that they were pretending to be. This little act always made them laugh.

“That!” Howon exclaimed, pointing at the both of them. “Why do you guys always do that?”

Woohyun shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s fun,” he brushed it off, as if the behavior was normal, as normal as them all drinking.

“Yea, it’s fun,” Sunggyu chimed in and took a long sip from his drink. “And I haven’t really seen Woohyun at all today,” he added as he put the glass down.

Howon snorted. “Okay, whatever,” he let it go and then began talking with Dongwoo about the mishap that he had during a conference call.

 _That was close_. Sunggyu exhaled the breath he’d been holding, relieved. But he tensed up again as soon as he felt a nudge in his side. “Did you miss me?” Woohyun asked in a hushed ton.

Sunggyu snorted. “Yea, sure. I missed you.” Sunggyu’s response had been a bit too curt. He could see the same expression on Woohyun’s face that he had earlier, when Sunggyu refused to draw him. “I mean,” Sunggyu scrambled to make amends for his curtness. The tip of his finger circled around the rim of his glass as he spoke, “I guess I did technically see you today when you came to my office. But not really.”

Woohyun’s demeanor changed. He was smiling brightly. “Yea, that doesn’t really count as seeing each other. How long was it? Less than five minutes? Doesn’t count,” he declared.

“Hm?” Sunggyu cocked an eyebrow and leaned in closer. His eyes still followed his finger that was tracing the rim. “How long would it have to be for it to count?” he asked. He then looked up at Woohyun, but he was looking down at Sunggyu’s glass.

“Um, I guess it would depend on how _significant_ the encounter was,” Woohyun answered and then slowly raised his gaze to match the elder’s.

Sunggyu’s finger stopped. “Was it not _significant_ enough?” he pursued this line for a little longer, while he still had it.

“No. Not for me,” Woohyun’s voice was just a whisper. Sunggyu laid his hand against the table, not far from the other’s. _Is this_ …”Wait, what did you say?” Woohyun raised his voice, inserting himself into Howon and Dongwoo’s conversation. His loud laugh made Sunggyu jolt. “I can’t believe that happened!”

 _Had he…had he been listening to their conversation the whole time_? Sunggyu slunk in his seat and took a long sip of his beer. This wasn’t new. This was how Woohyun was. This was the reason why Sunggyu couldn’t let himself get carried away, even in a relaxed setting like this. He could never let his guard down.

* * *

“Sunggyu-ssi,” the art teacher (Yeri, an art student from a nearby college) called out to him. “Will you help me pass out the materials for class today?”

“Of course, ssaem!” Sunggyu jumped out of his sheet and passed out paper and straight edges to the rest of the students, ending with Jin.

“It looks like someone is the Teacher’s Pet,” Jin teased as he accepted the materials.

“Eh, that’s not it,” Sunggyu argued. “I’m just the youngest in the class.”

“She’s young too. Younger than you,” Jin pointed out. “She seems to like you, and I see you two talking after class. Is something going on there?”

“Oh no, no,” Sunggyu fervently denied, shaking his head and waving his arms as he sat down in his seat. “We’re just friends. She’s not even my type.”

“Is she too cute? Too young?” Jin guessed.

“No, no. I like cute,” Sunggyu blurted out, accidentally. Jin’s interest was piqued and he gestured at Sunggyu to continue. “I like cute, but not _too_ cute. Naturally cute, that’s what I like. And sexy.” He then burst into a laugh. “I like a bit of both. Cute and sexy.”

“That’s asking for a lot, Sunggyu-goon,” Jin chided him, clicking his tongue.

The young man sighed. “I know,” he muttered below his breath. Sometimes he did feel like he was asking for too much.

“Back in the day…” Jin began, pulling Sunggyu out of his circling thoughts, “…my wife was like that. She was the complete package. Smart too.”

“ _Was_ like that?” Sunggyu caught him. “If she was like that then, what is she like now?”

Jin blushed and turned his gaze back to his sketchbook. “She’s still pretty,” he replied shyly.

“Just pretty?” Sunggyu challenged.

Jin gave him a pointed look, which sent Sunggyu apologizing for acting too familiar. But the old man was just teasing again. He chuckled softly and explained himself, “The longer you are with someone, the harder it is to sum her up in a few words. You see all sides and dimensions of her personality. Also, like everyone else, she changes over the years. Especially when you’ve been together for as long as we have.”

“How long has that been, sir?” Sunggyu asked more politely than usual.

“A long, long time,” Jin answered. “We met in our teens and now we’re in our fifties. Huh, has it already been forty years?” he mused.

“Whoa,” Sunggyu muttered, impressed. “That is a _very_ long time.”

“Yes, it is,” Jin agreed. “But she’s still cute to me, but it’s a different cuteness from what she used to have.” His brow furrowed as he continued talking. “She’s still smart too, but she has her dull moments as well. So it’s getting harder to describe her as I get older. There just doesn’t seem to be enough words or the right ones. Sometimes it’s just easier to say that she is ‘pretty.’ And she is pretty, inside and out.”

“Oh, I understand,” Sunggyu spoke lowly as he turned to his sketchbook. His brow was furrowed too, immersed in his own thoughts. “I think I know what you mean.” _It’s harder to say why you like someone the more you like them. Why is that? I can’t think of any way to describe him other than cute._ Sunggyu locked that question inside, even though it wanted to leap from his lips. But Jin wasn’t the person to ask. As much as the old man seemed like his father, Jin still wasn’t. They weren’t that close.

“Are you seeing anyone, Sunggyu?” But apparently Jin wanted to get closer.

And Sunggyu decided to let him in a little. “Ah no. Well, almost. I like this person, but it’s hard to tell if the person likes me back,” he confessed.

“Oh, the ‘some’ stage,” Jin concluded with a knowing nod.

Sunggyu chuckled. “You know that?” he asked the old man.

“I know a few things. I’m hip,” Jin bragged, jostling his shoulders.

The two of them laughed at that, and then Yeri announced the start of class and explained the exercise that they were doing: drawing negative space. Which proved to be excessively difficult for Sunggyu. He was squinting at the display that Yeri had set up with his mouth hanging wide open. _Where do I start? Ah there!_ He then began drawing and picked up with conversation with his classmate again: “Jin-ssi, how did you ask out your wife?”

“I didn’t. She asked me,” Jin admitted with a chuckle. “My wife was a ballroom dancer and was quite popular at the time.” He then looked up from his drawing, glancing to the other side of the room where his wife was, and sighed. “Just like now. Look at how she ignores me for her friends,” his voice was more teasing than upset. It seemed like he expected that much from her. “She loves being in the spotlight, being the center of attention.” Sunggyu watched the group of women surrounding Jin’s wife, and she was the center of attention, pointing at her sketchbook and laughing boisterously. She even drew Yeri’s attention, who then came over to help them all. Sunggyu’s eyes returned to Jin, remembering when they first met, when Jin just seemed to blend in with the walls. _How are they even together? And for so long?_ Jin soon answered that: “She could have anyone, but she still chose me. I liked her, and she knew that. But I was dragging my feet. I didn’t know if she was dating anybody. Or if she was interested in anyone else. I lacked the confidence. Anyway, one day she just came up to me and asked if I was ever going to ask her to dinner. And then I finally did.” He then turned his eyes away from the display and onto the younger. “I know that we don’t seem to match, but what you see is her performance, her stage self. She changes once she’s offstage, at home. That’s when I take the lead. Not many people were able to handle both sides of her, but I could. I’m her ideal partner. I support her both on and offstage.”

“That’s…” Sunggyu struggled to finish his thought. Jin’s story made him feel several things: warmth, hope, maybe a twinge of envy. But all Sunggyu could manage to say was: “That’s nice.”

“It really is,” Jin said. But instead of returning back to his sketching, he leaned closer to Sunggyu. “Sunggyu, don’t be like me. Ask her out. I was lucky, but someone else might ask her before you can get the chance,” he advised.

“Right,” Sunggyu mumbled, nodding like he was taking the elder’s advice, but he knew deep in his heart that he’d still be stuck in this game with his crush tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. _Forever and ever…_

“I hear a lot of chatter back here. How is the drawing going?” Yeri’s voice disrupted his train of thoughts. Sunggyu quickly drew some more lines on his page as she made her way over. Luckily she checked up on Jin’s progress first. “Wow, Jin-ssi! You’re doing a great job. But don’t be afraid to have a heavier hand. Your lines are still too light. Be more confident!” she told him. Jin nodded and kept going with his work. Yeri then walked over to Sunggyu’s, studied it for a few seconds, and hummed. _Why does she always do that?_

“Sunggyu-ssi, where are you drawing?” she asked in a serious tone.

Sunggyu pointed to the arrangement on the table. “I’m drawing what you told us too,” he replied with a pout. He felt anger building when he saw Yeri narrowing her eyes with her head tilted, looking back and forth between Sunggyu’s drawing and the display. “See! That’s the lamp!” he raised his voice, thumbing the hastily drawn line on his page.

“Oh! I see it now!” Yeri exclaimed and clapped her hands. “It’s like Magic Eye! I like your interpretation, Sunggyu-ssi. Very abstract,” her praise sounded forced. Sunggyu knew that she had trouble motivating and praising Sunggyu’s drawing. She always ended up praising his ‘abstractness’ or ‘surrealism.’ But Sunggyu wasn’t being abstract or surreal. He was trying to draw a f***ing lamp. Sunggyu sighed after his teacher left. He heard soft chuckles coming from his side.

“Don’t say anything, Jin-ssi,” he warned the elder.

Jin looked over at Sunggyu’s drawing and after seeing it, he patted the younger’s back. “I think you’re improving,” now that was praise Sunggyu was looking for.

“Really?!”

“Eung, especially right here is good,” he remarked, gesturing to a point in the drawing. “You can tell that it’s the ball.”

Sunggyu pouted and looked up at the old man. “That’s supposed to be the wine glass,” he revealed.

Jin returned back to his seat, smiling sheepishly and he said, “You’re improving, Sunggyu. You’re improving. Trust me.”

* * *

“They look like baby potatoes. But why can’t I draw them?” Sunggyu mumbled to himself as he was erasing the page in his black sketchbook frantically. He was at his kitchen table, practicing his ‘art’ again. After class that evening, Sunggyu was fueled with a desire and greed to improve. The next class, Yeri would be able to tell what he was drawing at first glance. That was his goal.

Sunggyu put down the eraser and got up from the table. He walked over to the fridge. His hand hovered over the handle, before it traveled upwards in order to open the cupboard next to the fridge. He pulled out a small, red potato and returned to his seat at the table. He placed the potato in front of him and flipped to a new page in his sketchbook. His eyes studied the potato for a few moments before he began sketching it out. “I can draw a potato,” he grumbled. “I can do it.” He then closed his last line and stared up at the potato. “Look. Yea, looks exactly like a potato!” he exclaimed with a proud smile. But the smile fell when he flipped back to the page he had been working on. His eyes darted back and forth between his sketch, the potato, and his phone’s screen. His brow wrinkled and he was growing frustrated. “Then what’s going on here?” he muttered. He then brought his hand up to his lips, pulling at them slightly. “Well, they’re softer. Maybe that’s it.” He went back to his drawing, still talking to himself, “And this. It should be like a carrot. Pointy. And these are more like crescents, a bit more curved. That line is too straight. Aish! Now they don’t match! Why do you even have these? These are stupid.”

* * *

As Sunggyu made his way to the fifth floor, he couldn’t help but to think of the game Jenga. That was what his relationship with Woohyun was like. Both of them picked at each other, taking one block out at a time, maybe two or three if one of them was being bold. It could be something so innocent as a prolonged look or as naughty as a comment that pushed the boundaries of their friendship. Whatever they did, it added up and made their relationship shaky, unstable, at risk of collapsing at any moment. But they kept playing, kept pushing, kept stacking up those blocks, one on top of the other. Neither of them wanted to lose, and Sunggyu feared what would happen after everything fell down. Will they rebuild the tower (their relationship) and play again? Will they pick up a new game? Or would they leave the blocks on the floor, abandoning it altogether? He didn’t know, but right now he was moving to take out one more block, a crucial one.

“Hey, Woohyun?” Sunggyu called out to the younger as he knocked on the entrance of Woohyun’s cubicle.

“Hm?” Woohyun hummed, not sparing a glance at the other as he was finishing a sentence on the document he had opened.

Sunggyu gulped before asking in a hurried voice, “Do you want to have dinner tonight?”

Woohyun closed out of the document and spun around in his seat, showing the other his wide smile. “With the usual group? Sure,” he responded.

Sunggyu shook his head. That was the thing. The two of them actually had never eaten a meal together, completely alone. In fact, they didn’t spend much one-on-one time together, even in spite of these short office visits (which, Woohyun was right in saying, weren’t _significant_ time together). There was always someone else with them, always. Sunggyu smiled nervously as he explained himself, “No, I was thinking just the two of us, just to see how it is. The two of us alone, that is. We…we don’t really get to talk much when the whole group gets together.”

Woohyun froze, gripping a pen so tightly in his hands that his knuckles turned white. “Do you have something to tell me?” there was something else hiding in Woohyun’s voice as he spoke. He almost sounded scared. Why?

“Uh no, not really,” Sunggyu stammered. Woohyun’s reaction made him nervous. Sunggyu rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “I just want to talk with you, about anything, without Dongwoo to interrupt us,” he ended with a joke, hoping that it would thaw the other.

But it didn’t. Woohyun grew even stiffer (if that was possible). “Is this like a…” his lips barely moved, and he was practically inaudible. Sunggyu didn’t know if Woohyun had actually completed that sentence or if he let it hanging.

“Like a what?” Sunggyu pushed him.

Woohyun shook his head slightly, which sent a shiver through him after being so rigid for so long. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t tonight. I really can’t,” Woohyun grumbled as he spun back towards his computer. He pulled up a powerpoint presentation he’d been working on and showed it to Sunggyu. “I’ve got to finish this presentation for the meeting tomorrow. And I know that they are just going to tear it apart. I’m going up for slaughter. I have to be perfect,” he finished with a heavy groan, dragging his hand down his face. Once the hand fell into Woohyun’s lap, Sunggyu noticed how tired the younger looked, like he hadn’t slept in days. It made him feel guilty for being disappointed when Woohyun turned him down. But still… _Is it just an excuse? He said he’d eat with all of us, but he doesn’t want to eat with me? What is this?_

 _Don’t let it show_. Sunggyu pulled a tight-lipped smile across his face, painfully. “Oh, okay. I’ll just leave you to it,” he told the other. He then put both his hands up in fists. “You can do it. I know you can. Good luck. Nam Woohyun, fighting!” he exhorted Woohyun.

The younger mimicked him and responded in a (trying not to be but still) tired voice, “Fighting!” Seeing the younger gain a bit of strength from it, Sunggyu kept exhorting him until he backed out of the cubicle. He spun on his heel, about to make his way back to his floor, but then…”Sunggyu?”

“Yes?” Sunggyu ran right back inside and poked his head through the entrance.

“Can we do it some other time? Maybe?” Woohyun asked, tapping a pen onto the palm of his hand.

“Eh?” Sunggyu murmured, his eyes following the pen.

“The dinner?” Woohyun clarified. “Can we have dinner some other time?”

“O-oh! Sure! Anytime!” Sunggyu replied, pleasantly surprised. “I’ll see you later, Woohyun.”

‘Take care, hyung,” Woohyun responded as the elder walked away.

Sunggyu was making his way to the elevator with a spring in his step when he was stopped by Dongwoo who came off of the elevator when the elder was about to get on. “Hyung! I just tried to find you,” Dongwoo revealed as he put his hand on the elder’s shoulder and then lead him away from the elevator.

“Hey Dongwoo,” Sunggyu greeted him. “What’s up?”

“Dinner,” Dongwoo simply replied. He then chuckled and elaborated, “We’re going out to dinner tonight. You coming?”

“Sure,” Sunggyu answered with a slight nod. He had nothing else going on now. His eyes then widened when he realized something. _The reason why he said ‘no’ was because Dongwoo asked first....but then he said he was busy. What?_ Sunggyu closed his eyes tightly as he asked, “Is Woohyun…”

Dongwoo cut him off with a roaring laugh. “No, no, no! Woohyun’s not coming. He wouldn’t even let me get close enough to ask.”

“Huh?”

“Woohyun’s practically barricaded himself in his office. He yelled at me to get out as soon as he saw my face,” Dongwoo explained, still laughing. “But it’s okay. His big presentation is tomorrow.”

“What?” Sunggyu blubbered. “Is for that big account?” _I forgot. I was too focused on_ …He rubbed his eyes. “He didn’t tell me. I wouldn’t have bothered him if I knew.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it,” Dongwoo comforted him, patting the elder’s back roughly. “You’re a different case. He doesn’t mind if it’s you.”

“Hm?” Sunggyu had barely caught that. He was focusing on escaping Dongwoo’s ‘encouragement’ and rubbing his now sore back.

“I’ll see you later, hyung!” Dongwoo yelled as he made his way down the hall. “I got to get back to work.”

“See you later,” Sunggyu muttered, his hand hanging up in the air. His mind was elsewhere.

_What does he mean that I’m a different case?_

* * *

Sunggyu’s mind stayed elsewhere the next night when he was staring blankly at his sketchpad. He started the assignment that Yeri gave them, working with charcoal to draw shadows. The room was cloaked in darkness and the only light on was projecting onto the objects that they were supposed to be drawing. And Sunggyu’s mind was like that, everything was in the dark as he could only focus on one thing. _Should I pull out another block? End the game?_ Sunggyu shook his head _. No, no. Too risky._ He drug his hand down his face. “I need a drink,” he grumbled.

Then the lights suddenly came back on, and Yeri announced the end of class, apologizing for it running later than usual but she was pleased to see everyone so immersed in their work that she didn’t want to stop them. Sunggyu looked about himself in shock, watching his classmates pack up their things in order to leave. And he was just sitting there, staying still. Jin said his goodbyes to Sunggyu and then walked out of the classroom. His wife stayed behind, saying prolonged goodbyes to her friends. Sunggyu sighed heavily and turned his eyes back to his paper. He’d only drawn outlines of few objects, but his hands were black from rolling the charcoal in his hands. _What am I doing?_ Sunggyu thought, staring at his dirtied hands. _I’m just wasting everyone’s time._

“Sunggyu-goon?”

“Hm? Oh!” Sunggyu raised his hands and saw Jin’s wife standing next to him.

“I just wanted to come over and thank you for befriending my husband,” she told him with a vibrant smile.

“Huh? Oh, it was nothing, really,” Sunggyu stuttered, surprised by the sudden compliment, especially since her husband had talked to _him_ first. “He’s fun to talk with.”

She laughed, covering her widening smile. “I think so too,” she agreed. She then dropped her hand and let out a deep breath. “I wish more people knew that. That’s why I brought him here, to make friends. He also has a creative side that I want him to nurture.”

“Yea, he’s really good,” Sunggyu chimed in.

“Best in the class,” his wife boasted. “Or at least that’s what I tell him.” She seemed a bit flustered after saying that. Sunggyu could see a crack in her confident façade, her true self peeking through. _Is this what Jin sees? She’s so gentle_. Jin’s wife then pat his shoulder and said this before leaving, “Thank you, Sunggyu. I’ll see you next week.”

“Take care,” Sunggyu wished her, bowing to her from his seat. _It’s time to get going, Sunggyu. You’re just wasting time_ , Sunggyu urged himself. He sat up from his seat, stretching, before gathering his things.

“Sunggyu-ssi,” this time it was Yeri who came up to him. “I was wondering if I could look through your practice sketches.”

“Eh?!” Sunggyu froze and his eyes bulged. He thought those sketches were private. He never imagined that the teacher would collect them and look through them.

Yeri rubbed her hands together nervously (Sunggyu’s surprised reaction made her feel even more frightened to ask) as she explained herself, “I feel as if I’ve been neglecting you as a teacher. I thought if I were to look through your sketches, I’d be able to give you more useful advice.” She then raised both of her hands in the air, yielding. “But if you don’t want to share them, then…”

“Ah no!” Sunggyu interrupted her. _She’s just trying to do her job_ , Sunggyu concluded with a slight groan as he pulled out his black leather sketchbook from his bag. “Please, look through it,” he insisted, as if this was what he really wanted. “I would like your advice.”

Yeri accepted the sketchbook with both of her hands and sat down at the desk next to Sunggyu’s as she wordlessly flipped through it. Sunggyu sat down as well, listlessly. He gnawed on his lower lip, tearing it apart as she kept flipping back and forth between the pages while making indecipherable noises. _She must think I’m horrible, that I’m hopeless._

“Are these all the same person?” Yeri finally broke the silence, but her eyes were still trained on the page.

“Well, that's a potato. But the rest of them are  _supposed_ to be,” Sunggyu answered, wiping the palms of his hands against his pants. Why was he getting so nervous?

She glanced up at Sunggyu, grinning. “It's a nice potato. It looks like you’re improving,” Yeri remarked.

“Really?!”

Her eyes fell back down to the sketchbook as she nodded. “Yes, I guess that I didn’t correctly assess your skills beforehand. I didn’t see just how bad you were to begin with,” she tried to cut her harsh words with a giggle. “You’re starting to grasp proportion, anatomy. Your lines are more confident. You’re erasing a lot less. You’re getting there, Sunggyu-ssi,” she praised. “But you probably need to concentrate on the basics for now. I can give you some suggestions for practice. Would you like them?” she offered while handing the book back to him.

“Oh yes, of course,” Sunggyu gladly accepted. _That went a lot better than I expected_ , he thought as he quickly stuffed the book back into the safety of his bag.

“So is this a real person? A character?”

“Ah, no. He’s real,” Sunggyu replied, startled. “He’s…he’s my friend. We work at the same company.” He then pulled out his cellphone and pulled up his Instagram. “Here’s a picture of him,” he said as he showed her the photo on his feed.

“Wait.” Yeri furrowed her brows as she studied the photo. She pointed at the screen. “Is this…that one drawing, that was a cup? He was drinking from a cup? I thought he was eating cotton candy or something,” she confessed.

“Come on! It’s not _that_ bad!” Sunggyu raised his voice. He locked his phone and stuffed it into his pocket with an angry huff.

“You’re improving, Sunggyu-ssi. You _really_ are,” Yeri insisted.

“Yea, sure, whatever.”

* * *

The next night, Sunggyu found himself staring at the screen of his phone again, but it wasn’t opened up to his Instagram feed as it usually was. His phone was ringing. He was getting a call from Woohyun. He let it ring a few times before answering. “Oh, Woohyun-ah, what is it?” he tried to be callous, but his heart was racing, his throat felt tight. His voice probably sounded strange after forcing it through. Sunggyu cleared his throat before continuing, “How did the presentation go?”

“It’s over,” Woohyun replied vaguely and with a lifeless chuckle. “They’ll contact us later about it. But I was wondering something.”

Sunggyu waited a few moments, but Woohyun remained silent. “What is it?”

“Do you want to hang out?”

“Hm?” Sunggyu’s grip tightened on his phone.

“I’m sorry for bailing yesterday,” the younger apologized. “If it was with the group, I could’ve just left early. But if I left early and it was just us, you would’ve been alone.”

“O-oh,” Sunggyu muttered as he rocked back and forth in his chair. “That’s true.”

“But I’m free now,” Woohyun announced, waiting for Sunggyu to invite him again.

But he had his reservations. He felt like things could all fall apart if he made the wrong move, if he was too excited or too hesitant. “Don't you want to celebrate with your team? Because you’re done?” Sunggyu pushed just a little, testing him.

“No, I’m sick of those guys,” Woohyun answered. “I want to see you. I haven’t seen you all day. It’s weird. I must be too used to your face popping into my office. It’s weird when it’s not there.”

“Yah!” Sunggyu argued, chuckling as he sat still in his seat. Although he was laughing, there was still a lot of tension in his throat and voice. “You’re the one who crashes _my_ office everyday!”

“Do I?” Woohyun was reluctant to admit it, so he just shifted subjects, “What are you up to tonight?”

“Uh,” Sunggyu muttered with his mouth hanging wide open. He slammed his sketchbook closed and pushed it away. “I was just going to watch that series Myungsoo told us about, _Stranger Things_ ,” he lied, blurting out the first thing that came to his mind.

“Have you started it yet?” Woohyun asked.

“Uh, no,” this time Sunggyu was able to tell the truth.

“Can I watch it with you?”

“Of course!” Sunggyu chirped as he jumped up from his seat. He walked briskly into his bedroom. “Just come on over whenever you can. You know where I live,” he mumbled as he lifted his mattress and stuffed his sketchbook underneath. It should be safe there.

“I do. I’ll be over in a bit,” Woohyun responded. “Later, hyung.”

“Later,” Sunggyu said back before hanging up the phone. He then scanned his bedroom and stuck his head out the door to examine the living room. “Crap! It’s a mess!”

* * *

 After hurriedly cleaning up his apartment, Sunggyu put on his coat and waited for Woohyun outside of his building. He didn’t know if Woohyun remembered his apartment number (it had been awhile since anyone visited Sunggyu’s place), and so Sunggyu was going to save them both the hassle, the extra phonecall, and wait for him outside. But he didn’t know it was going to be this cold. It was snowing again, heavier this time. Sunggyu shivered, rubbing his hands up and down his arms. _When did it get this cold? Huh?_ His ears perked. Christmas music was wafting through the air. One of the shops nearby must’ve been playing it. It was quiet at first, but now that Sunggyu was focusing on it, he could hear it clearly. _Since when did it get to be that time of year?_ It had crept up on him without him noticing, Christmas. But now that he noticed, he could see it everywhere. The wreaths hanging on shop doors. The garland lining his own building. The twinkling lights filling the streets. The couples holding hands and huddling closely for warmth. Sunggyu let out a great breath and watched it formed a cloud in front of his face, blurring his vision. All this joy around him, but none in his heart. He was just watching people pass him by again.

 _Can I even go home this year? No, I can’t. I have to stay for work. I’ll go home for New Years, but_ …He sniffed loudly as he saw two parents walk their child down the street, each of them holding their child’s hand and all three of them marveling at the snowfall. _I want to go now. Aish, this is annoying. I need a…_

“Hyung!” Sunggyu lifted his head and saw Woohyun scurrying towards him, covered head to toe. Only Woohyun’s eyes could be seen, but Sunggyu could recognize those anywhere (especially now). “You didn’t have to wait outside for me,” the younger said once he reached him.

“I know,” Sunggyu grumbled, tucking his face into his scarf. “Let’s go up. It’s cold.” As he turned around to lead the other to the apartment, a hand fell on his shoulder.

“Hyung, are you okay?” Woohyun had pulled his scarf down and away from his face, revealing a worried expression. His eyes flickered all over Sunggyu’s face. “Is everything alright?”

Sunggyu raised his head, forcing a smile. “Everything’s fine. I’m just cold,” he tried to assure the other, but Woohyun didn’t look convinced. So Sunggyu patted his arm roughly, urging him to move. “Come on, let’s go. It’s freezing out here.”

* * *

When they reached Sunggyu’s apartment, the elder was unable to shake of the cold, and by the looks of it, Woohyun hadn’t either. He was pink and shivering. Sunggyu could only assume that he looked far worse than that. He told Woohyun to sit on the sofa as he went to fetch them blankets and shuffled off into the bedroom. Sunggyu was shedding his outer layers as his eyes scanned his bedroom. Did he even have a clean(ish) blanket, let alone two? _Would it be weird if we shared?_ He thought as he pulled the comforter off of his bed quickly, causing the whole thing to shift.

“Hey, do you mind if I boil water for tea?”

“Wh-what?!” Sunggyu stammered. He spun around to see Woohyun poking his head through his doorway. “Uh, sure. Let me get it started,” he offered. In a hurry to be a good host, Sunggyu didn’t notice where he was stepping and hadn't gathered the comforter properly. He stepped on the edge of the blanket, slipped, and fell onto the floor.

“Whoa, hyung!” Woohyun exclaimed and tried to stop the other from falling, but it was too late. Sunggyu completely wiped out and was laying face down on the floor, not wanting to get up and expose his bright red face. “Are you okay?” the younger asked, chuckling at his misery. He knelt down next to him and pat his back. “Are you hurt? Do you need help?”

“No,” Sunggyu grunted. His voice was muffled as he still was laying face-down.

“Do you want to get up?”

“No.”

Woohyun burst into a roaring laughter and hit the other with more force. Sunggyu groaned and rolled his face away from the other. _This is so embarrassing. I wanna die._ He covered his face with the blanket.

“Huh? What’s this?” Woohyun asked.

Sunggyu scrunched his body together and slowly got up onto his knees. The blanket was still covering his face. “What does it look like?” Sunggyu grumbled.

“A sketchbook.”

 _Shit._ Sunggyu ripped the blanket off from his face, only to see Woohyun opening his black sketchbook and flipping through the pages with a cheeky grin. _I’m dead_. “Don’t look at that!” he cried as he lunged forward, aiming to tear the book from the other’s hands.

Woohyun dodged him, scooting away from the elder and pressing his back against the bed. “Why?” he argued. “You’ve been taking so many classes. I wanna see how you draw.”

“I suck, okay?” Sunggyu blurted out. He held out his hand, pouting. “Just give it back.”

“Eh, you’re not _that_ bad,” Woohyun combatted. A small smile was forming on his face, but it then fell with the next comment: “But you’re not that good either. After all of those classes, this is all you can do?”

“Ssaem said I was improving,” Sunggyu muttered, hiding his hands in his face. He sighed, partially in relief. _Thank god I’m so bad. He doesn’t know._

“I thought you said you were more into landscapes,” Woohyun remarked. “I should’ve known that you’d just draw yourself over and over and over again.”

Sunggyu forced out a laugh. “Yea, that’s me,” he added. “Hey, let’s go watch the show.”

“Wait, I’m not done yet,” Woohyun whined as he kept flipping back and forth between the pages. He was chuckling voicelessly. “You’re drawing your eyes _way_ too big,” he critiqued. “And your lips too! And your nose! Since when was your nose so pointy? What? Are you like some anime character or something?” he teased.

“No. It’s just my style. Ssaem says that I’m a very surreal artist,” he excused himself. “But I guess it isn’t for everyone. I’ll just put this back,” he offered, reaching for the book again.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Woohyun pulled away from the other, turning his back to Sunggyu now. “This one. This looks like…”

“It’s just my style!” Sunggyu shouted.

“Hyung,” Woohyun softly spoke as he turned back towards Sunggyu. The book in his hands laid wide open in order to show the drawing. “Is this me?” Woohyun’s eyes were glued on the drawing as he asked. Sunggyu gulped. There was no defense that he could come up with for this one. It could only be Woohyun. But Woohyun must’ve been in disbelief that it was, in fact, him. He took out his own phone and opened up Instagram. He then searched for the picture that the sketch was based on: him at the table, pretending to eat a flower. Woohyun then flipped to the next page and then stiffed. “Is this all me?” he muttered below his breath, scrolling through his profile and flipping through the small book at the same time. Sunggyu was silent as his world crumbled around him. It was game over. Woohyun finally raised his gaze to the other searching for an answer. “Hyung,” he called out Sunggyu as he brushed the bridge of his nose with his finger. “Is it me?”

 _It’s all over. I lost_. Sunggyu shut his eyes tightly and answered, “Yes.” His eyes then snapped open. Maybe he could still salvage the game and himself. “But only because I thought you’d be easy to draw. Your face has lots of lines, some of them straight, some of them not like it’s...” his voice dropped. _No, this isn’t it. Try again_. “What am I saying? I suck at drawing, and your face is _deceptively_ hard to draw. But I kept drawing to improve and stuff. If I keep drawing the same thing, I’d get better, right? Yeri, Ssaem, she said to draw something that I was familiar with and that I saw everyday, and well…” he ended, gesturing vaguely towards the younger.

“So you drew me,” Woohyun filled in the blank.

“Yea, it was either you or a bottle of beer, but I’m trying to cut back,” Sunggyu tried to cut the growing tension with a joke. It had worked. Woohyun was relaxing, but then Sunggyu had to go and blurt out this: “And I thought your face would be easy to draw. Like potatoes.”

Woohyun cocked an eyebrow. “I look like a potato?”

“No,” Sunggyu denied with a shake of his head. “Your lips.”

“My lips are like potatoes?”

“Yea like those tiny, red ones, you know? Those potatoes?” Sunggyu tried to explain himself, but Woohyun just continued to stare at him with that (damn) eyebrow highly arched, almost reaching his hairline. While the younger was busy judging him, Sunggyu took the opportunity and snatched the book from his hands and clambering up to his feet. “I’m just going to stop talking about this and never talk about it ever again. How does that sound? Good? I like it too,” he grumbled lowly as he walked over to the trashcan. He threw the sketchbook in there. Sunggyu then straightened up, taking in a deep breath. With his back still turned against the other (he couldn’t bear to see Woohyun’s face now), Sunggyu told him, “You can leave, if you want.” With that, he left the room.

Sunggyu left the room and went straight into the kitchen. He ripped open the fridge door and took out a beer from the side. Luckily, he still had almost all of the six-pack that he bought that Sunday still in there. He’d need it all tonight.

“Actually…” Woohyun plucked the can out of Sunggyu’s hand and set it on the counter. “…it doesn’t sound good to me.” Sunggyu slammed the door closed out of frustration and glared at the younger, who just leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t want to leave, and I want to talk about this,” Woohyun sounded firm. He wasn’t going to budge.

Sunggyu felt himself deflate, his eyes falling onto the floor. “I don’t know what else to say about it. I just drew you, okay? I just did,” he didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t know what he could say to make this whole situation go away.

“It’s not about the drawings, Sunggyu. It’s about everything,” Woohyun snapped. Sunggyu lifted his head. He was confused. _What does he mean ‘everything’?_ Woohyun huffed and averted his gaze. “What are we?”

“I don’t know,” Sunggyu replied. It was honest. He had no f***ing clue what they were or what they were doing here, right now in his kitchen. _What game is this?_ But…but maybe it wasn’t a game at all. Woohyun looked just as upset and confused as he was, and just maybe Sunggyu was starting to realize it all. “I don’t know, but I _hope_ that we’re…going somewhere, that we have something.” Woohyun whipped his head back towards Sunggyu, but the smile slowly crept onto his face, which irritated Sunggyu. Woohyun looked like he knew something that Sunggyu didn’t. The elder glared at him and continued, raising his voice, talking faster as he went on, “But then we never really hang out alone, and you pull back a _lot_. And then you’ll go and ask a question like _that_ and smile like you are now. You, I can’t figure you out, and it’s driving me crazy.” He was wagging his finger at the other near then end. He then huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. He squared off against the other. “So you tell me: what are we?”

Woohyun seemed oddly calm for someone facing an angry, heaving Sunggyu. His gaze was too soft and his voice too tender when he said, “I like you.”

“That’s great because I like you too,” Sunggyu snapped back, his lips pulled up into a snarl. _Wait, what? Did we just_ …

“So we’re two people that like each other,” Woohyun summarized. Sunggyu uncrossed his arms, letting them dangle at his side. His eyes opened wide, unblinking. He didn’t want to miss a moment of this. Woohyun chuckled at his reaction. “So now, maybe we should be two people that have our first date tonight,” he suggested. Sunggyu scoffed, and it was Woohyun’s turn to get huffy. He lifted himself off from the counter. “What? You don’t want to? Should I just go?”

“Yes,” Sunggyu retorted. Woohyun glowered at that, which made Sunggyu smile, so widely it hurt. “But I’m coming with you,” he finished. “Where do you want to go?”

Now Woohyun was smiling too, and they were both happy, finally truly happy. “Let’s go somewhere that we can’t go with the others,” he suggested.

* * *

They went to a Chinese restaurant, which wouldn’t seem that special, but since they rarely went because Myungsoo’s stomach couldn’t handle greasy food well, it was special to them. The meal wasn’t expensive or the décor elegant, but somehow the atmosphere was still romantic. There were candles on their table, flickering in the dim light. Christmas music was playing softly in the background. They had ordered some strong wine. And Woohyun was devoting all of his attention onto Sunggyu and no one else. He never pulled back.

There was an openness between them that hadn’t existed before because they both had been too guarded to let in the other. It was almost as if they didn’t want to have a taste of what they could be unless they could have the whole thing, a real relationship. And maybe they hadn’t been playing Jenga all along but taking down each other’s walls, block by block.

Sunggyu didn’t know if it was the wine or finally having Woohyun’s undivided attention, but he finally had a good talk with Woohyun. Woohyun told him about his stresses with the project and how the presentation went, his worries and fears. “What if we don’t get the account?” Sunggyu did his best to put them to rest, saying that no one else worked harder or were as talented as they were (as Woohyun was). And then he told Woohyun that he’d been feeling homesick lately, terribly homesick, which he thought was silly for a guy his age. “No, it’s not,” Woohyun quickly denied too. “I get homesick sometimes, and I’m from Seoul. I can go home whenever!”

“You’re silly,” Sunggyu replied with a chuckle. “Why don’t you just go home?”

Woohyun shrugged. “Just because I can doesn’t mean I should,” he guessed.

“That’s true,” Sunggyu agreed. “So are you going to go home for Christmas?” he shifted topics slightly.

Woohyun shrugged again. “Maybe. It depends,” he answered.

“Depends on what?” Sunggyu pried.

“It depends on what you’re doing,” Woohyun said with a coy smile. He then nestled his chin in his hands. “So what are you doing Sunggyu?”

Sunggyu laughed. “God, you’re so gross, do you know that?”

“Eung,” Woohyun hummed. He laid his hands flat against the table. “So you don’t want to?”

Sunggyu shook his head. “No, I do. Let’s spend Christmas together,” as he spoke, his hand reached over and covered Woohyun’s. The younger flipped his hand over and held onto Sunggyu’s tightly.

“Who’s gross now?”

“Still you. Be quiet.”

* * *

After dinner, the couple made their way to Woohyun’s car in the parking garage, and Sunggyu was grateful that the younger was driving. “I don’t have the tolerance I used to have,” Sunggyu whined as he slid into the passenger seat. He rolled his head along the headrest and smiled at Woohyun, who had just gotten into the driver seat and closed the door. “I’m tipsy.”

“I can tell,” Woohyun remarked. He reached over and brushed his thumb along Sunggyu’s warm cheek. The elder’s eyes fluttered shut. “Your cheeks are red.” Then the touch was gone, and Sunggyu gradually opened his eyes again. He saw the smile fall from the younger’s face, growing more and more serious. Woohyun’s brow wrinkled, his eyes darting all over the other’s face as he said, “I’m glad that you cut back. It was worrying me. I almost asked the rest to stage an intervention with me. But the psychologist cut me to the chase.”

Sunggyu snorted and grinned. “You were worried about me?”

“Eung,” Woohyun grunted. The corner of his lip twitched nervously and his eyes fell, watching his hand come to rest on Sunggyu’s knee. “You keep a lot inside,” he said and then lifted his gaze up to Sunggyu’s. “You won’t tell anyone when you’re having troubles. You don’t want to rely on anyone. Instead, you relied on alcohol.” Sunggyu couldn’t hold it anymore. He hung his head, ashamed. He didn’t know Woohyun saw straight through him. _How? How does he know?_ Sunggyu then felt a squeeze at his knee. “But you have me now, okay? You can talk to me about your problems, Gyu. You don’t have to be strong for me,” Woohyun told him.

Sunggyu lifted his head and studied the other carefully. He saw the way Woohyun’s eyes wavered, the way his other hand was gripping onto the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white. So nervous and tense. _I want to be stronger for you,_ Sunggyu found himself thinking. He often thought that in regards to his friends. He wanted to be strong for them. He wanted to protect them. But he especially felt that way around Woohyun because…“You’re worse.”

“Am not!” Woohyun argued.

“Are too!” Sunggyu retorted with a smile. “I just pretend to be strong. But you…You!” He wagged his finger in the younger’s face and giggled. “When you’re down, you don’t only pretend to be strong but happy. And then you’re fixated on making everyone else happy, making us laugh. Why do you do that?” he asked. Woohyun only shrugged in response. Sunggyu shrugged too, mimicking him. He didn’t let the other just shrug it off. He felt his own brow wrinkle, but his eyes stayed fix on Woohyun’s. “And then I figure out you were faking it when I find you crying later.”

Woohyun pulled his hand back and wrapped it around the gearshift, rapping his fingers against it nervously. He took in a deep breath, puffing his cheeks, and then let it out. “How is it that _you_ always find me? I try to hide,” he tried to make a joke of it.

“Hide better,” Sunggyu teased, but soon grew serious again. He took the younger’s hand off of the shift and intertwined their fingers. He looked down at them, admiring how well they fit as he promised, “From now on, hyung will take care of you more. So I hope that I can become…a friend with whom you can share anything. I’ve been through a lot too, and I’ve had my own slumps. I can help. Stop making jokes and talk more seriously with me.”

Woohyun scoffed and looked out the window. “What?” he muttered and then sniffed loudly. “It sounds like a video message.”

“Should I end it with ‘I love you’?” the joke left Sunggyu’s lips and awkwardly fell between them.

“No,” Woohyun quickly rejected. Sunggyu could see pink creeping onto his ears (and his own felt hot. His entire face felt hot and was probably bright red, from the alcohol, from embarrassment). Woohyun turned towards him, showing his wide grin. “At least not yet, maybe later.” He squeezed Sunggyu’s hand. “I’m glad that we did this.”

“Me too,” Sunggyu said and brought Woohyun’s hand closer to him. He wrapped his other hand around it. “We really should’ve done this earlier,” he muttered as he brought Woohyun’s hand to his lips and kissed it softly.

“Yea.”

Sunggyu’s eyes fluttered open again. Woohyun wasn’t looking him in the eyes. The younger’s gaze was fixed on the other’s mouth. So Sunggyu kissed his hand again, letting his lips linger on them for longer, until Woohyun pulled his hand down, replacing it with his own lips. At first, their lips just brushed against each other, tentatively. Then they both leaned closer, into the kiss, removing the final block that separated them. Now, they were finally together.

This time, Sunggyu was the first to pull away, just to murmur against the other, “We should’ve done this earlier too.” He then cupped the younger’s cheeks with his hands and kissed him again, deeply.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

Both of them jolted apart, yelping. Woohyun’s hand had finally let go of the top of the steering wheel, only to slip and bump against the horn when Sunggyu had kissed him. Realizing this, and seeing how deeply the younger was blushing now, although he was still clutching his heart, Sunggyu threw his head back and laughed.

“Uh, we should get going,” Woohyun muttered under his breath as he turned his car on. He then shot a glare at the other. “Don’t laugh.”

“I won’t,” Sunggyu tried to promise and bit his lip, holding the laughter back, but he ended up snorted. To make amends for not being able to sober up his tipsy self, he reached over and stroked Woohyun’s head. “You’re too cute.”

“I know, and you’re too distracting,” he grumbled, shrugging off the other’s hand. “Hands to yourself, while I’m driving.”

“Yes, sir!” Sunggyu said with a mock salute, making the other smile again. Sunggyu then let his head fall back on the headrest and roll towards the window. They rode out of the parking garage and onto the streets. The snow was still falling, and the twinkling lights looked like shooting stars as the passed by them. It was Christmastime, and Sunggyu finally had a heart filled with joy.

* * *

The next week, Woohyun came with Sunggyu to his drawing class. Sunggyu introduced him to the class, and his classmates warmly welcomed him, Jin especially. The two had a short conversation, talking about their interests and Sunggyu’s ‘art.’ The talk was broken up by his wife coming over, asking if she could take Sunggyu’s usual seat. She wanted to sit by her husband tonight. Sunggyu let her, and he and Woohyun took the free desks on the other side of the room.

Sunggyu shared his supplies with the younger, and they began drawing tonight’s subject: a (stereotypical) bowl of fruit. While Sunggyu was sketching out a rough outline of the bowl, Woohyun nudged him, making his hand slip and mark the page. But before he could snap at the other, Woohyun pointed over to the other side of the room, where Jin and his wife were holding hands as they drew (Jin was left-handed).

“They’re cute,” Woohyun whispered. He then glanced over at the elder. “I want to be like that when I get older.”

Sunggyu grinned, reaching over and holding the younger’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “Me too,” he whispered back. Sadly he had to let go of Woohyun’s hand so that they could continue working. But there was comfort in knowing that there would be many, many, many more opportunities in the future for them to hold hands, walking through life together at a steady pace.

“Crap,” Woohyun cursed. Sunggyu looked over and saw Woohyun’s misshapen bowl and smudges all over the page. Woohyun smiled at him sheepishly. “This is hard,” he admitted. “So how about we start a new hobby together?”

Sunggyu shook his head. “No, I like this now. I’m finally better than someone.”

“Okay, fine,” Woohyun huffed as he turned his attention back to the bowl of fruit. “But you’re going to play soccer with me this weekend,” he bargained.

“What? No, no, no,” Sunggyu rejected the offer. “Let’s do something else.”

Woohyun shook his head. “No, you’re coming because I want to kick _your_ butt at something.” He then flashed a cheeky grin at the other. “Then afterwards we can find a hobby that we both suck at,” he offered.

“Fine,” Sunggyu yielded and the both of them returned to their awful drawings.

“Namu, what do you think about magic?”

**Author's Note:**

> Jin and his wife were based on a couple from "Hello Counselor" (when the ballroom dancing mom was her son's strict dance partner).  
> The consultation with the psychologist was based on Sunggyu's interview in 4things, and his conversation with Woohyun in the car was based on the first episode of Infinite's Showtime.  
> Sunggyu being bad at drawing is based on the truth.


End file.
